In May, we can all Breathe Easy

We've just woken up to the exciting news that a re-formed Blue will be representing the United Kingdom at this year's Eurovision Song Contest.

This is excellent news for two reasons. Firstly, it ensures that we have an act representing us which carries some name value in Europe (well, Western Europe at least - their biggest Europe-wide hit was Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word). Secondly, it by-passes the usual "Your Country Needs You" gubbins where the whole thing is handed over to "the public" and we end up with songs like this having the hopes of the UK pinned upon it.

There are a couple of things we'd like Blue to bear in mind vis a vis their entry I Can.

1. We'd like everyone involved to realise that if this project isn't anything other than a flagrant early-2000s throwback, then the whole thing is doomed to failure. Now isn't the time to be breaking out the extensive auto-tune, calling up Tinie Tempah for a rap or to suddenly reveal any long-time felt Dubstep influences
2. If there's a choice to be had between full on Power Ballad or up-tempo optimistic pop, then opt for the latter. Malta and any number of Eastern European nations will have the emotive, arm-waving power ballad market sewn up and no amount of warbling from Lee or Antony Costa giving it 100% on the backing vocals is going to be able to save us there.
3. If Blue simply must go the Power Ballad route, then it needs to be at least 85% as brilliant as this.

Anything less will be viewed as a disappointment and Lee, Anthony, Simon and Duncan may never be allowed to cross back into the border again.

These caveats aside, there is an awful lot of potentially aamazing pop that can come out of all this. I mean, just imagine if you turn on your TV set on at about 8:00pm on the 14th May to hear Blue belting out the 2011-equivalent of One Love...



Or If You Come Back...



Or All Rise...



Or Fly By II



Actually. No. Not Fly By II. That simply won't do. But everything else? That would be amazing.

In short, we recommend that if Blue fail to place in at least the top 5 of this year's competition then either a) we secede from the Eurovision Union or b) we permanently exile Messers Costa, Ryan and James. Simon Webbe, of course, has permanent diplomatic immunity by virtue of the bizarrely-brilliant 2005 top 5 hit No Worries. But the others will be in big trouble.